IF YOU FEEL DEFEATED BY THREADING THE THORNS YOU WILL FIND THE SHADE OF SPRING…
“Don’t be afraid in life. Be brave – brave never die. If you want to live – fight with life, always move forward, never stay back. Never discard in yourself, never think – you’re small: you’re the best in the world…”
I think it was in 1979; maybe it was a little bit before – I was attending in army camp. There was one of thick friend – and we were discussing a lot and he suggested that you should read that book – it’s a great book – “Autobiography of the Yogi” by Paramahamsa Yogananda. Because I was very ferocious reader – so the name stark in my mind. I came back and I’ve got to buy that book in 1979 and I went through it I think in 24 hours – I was just reading and reading it. It lap the very deep impression on me; some of the photographs were very similar, very familiar to me: I thought- I’m knowing these people, but I don’t know how they are in this book. Then my search of Kriya Yoga begin. The thoughts was too much for me to bear.
I made some inquiries – it was some people in my home town who were in connected with Yukteshwar Giri ashram – so I went there in 1981. And I was there for 1 year. And I was thinking that whoever is taking the name of Kriya yoga – they are not less than paramahamsa and they are all sitting in Samadhi. But it was a tragic realization that they are just talking on Kriya yoga without knowing the real Kriya yoga. And in the mean time I want to read commentary on Gita by one of the real disciples of Shyamacharan Lahiri Mahasaya – Shri Bhupendranath Sanyal and comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well – he has written three volumes of it.
And what they are describing is Kriya yoga, but absolutely different that I was been told that this is Kriya yoga. It developed inside me the great frustration, many complexes, anger, irritation – so many things. I didn’t know – where to go and where to find the real Kriya yoga, who will teach me the real Kriya yoga. I think many of the seekers go through these things.
I was sitting in Shri Yukteshwar Giri’s Samadhi – there was no one there. And I was just very depressed. Suddenly a Bollywood movie song I heard; in Orissa, where hindi virtually is not spoken and at the right moment, when I was touching the lowest bottom of my frustration and depression – suddenly this song I heard. “Ruk jana nahi” is such a hope-giving song, it changes my mood absolutely.
I came out of the Samadhi temple of Shri Yukteshwar Giri and begin to follow the sound – from where this song is been played. I follow that and find one man, who opened his office for the tourists – travelling agency – and song was playing there. I shook his hand and say – “ You’re great, paape” – and he offered me chai, two samosas and even one rasgulla. And then suddenly – mood is different and positive things begin to happen: I got to met in few disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal, they told me the address of my Guru in Benares, they told me – he is the last one, who knows Kriya yoga, there maybe no one else now in India. I got his address, I came back home and then went to see my Guru – and all the rest history.
Maybe it happen in 1981.
Q: what is translation of this song?
Guruji: “ruk jana nahi” – stop not, if you feel defeated. By the thorns you will find the shade of the spring, and you will find your destination. It is song by Kishore Kumar and till today it stands one of the most of my favorite songs. You should hear it.
These two songs are sort of inspiration: and ruk jana nahi appeared in exact moment – it’s impossible! And this we’re singing since school days.
Jeevan mein tu daarna nahi – It is very inspiring songs.
Q: You say that one year You were in ashram?
Guruji: most of the sannyasi were travelling abroad, the head of the ashram was always in abroad and he love to teach only americans and he was not teaching Kriya yoga at all, which I came to realized. Somehow they swindled to capture the ashram – because Yukteshwar Giri left it to Yogananda Paramahamsa. So much things were go beyond – I mean it was beyond my imagination that things like these can happen when people are practicing Kriya yoga and about to be paramahamsas. It was a very much disappointed thing, but: I’ve got my great inspiration and found the address of my Guru, who graces me accept as his disciple. And I don’t want to give them importance by mentioning their names. Let the dead remain buried. The song is from the very old movie – probably in early 70s it was released.
It is impossible now to analyze – that why just in the right moment at the bottom of my depression this great song was played in Jagannath Puri, Orissa where hindi virtually is not spoken. I still don’t remember the name of that sikh – but I remember him physically and I still have a taste of the samosas in my mouth, chai and rasgulla – he was great person. I don’t think he will ever realized, what he did. It changed my attitude, suddenly more positive thoughts started.
Q: what is the name of the person, who tell You the name of your Guru?
Guruji: his name was Jhvalaprasad Tiwari; and before meeting him I got to see one of the disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal – his name was Shailendranath Mukherjee. He actually told me that what I’m doing is not Kriya yoga and he suggested to read that three volumes of the commentaries on Gita, which changed everything in my mind, opened them. I’m owe to mr. Bhupendranath Sanyal that his disciples showed me the right way.
Q: how You find Shailendranath Mukherjee?
Guruji: I was living in Yukteshwar Giri’s ashram, waiting to find Kriya yoga, and what they were teaching was absolutely nothing; then I learn from someone, that near Shankaracharya’s ashram is the place of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a small temple, dedicated to Lahiri Mahasaya. One afternoon I went there and I found an old man, sitting in the big house there – in the veranda. He was also a disciple of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a very good yogi. He was alone and I just reached there – so he asked my name. I told him “ Shailendra” – because his name was also Shailendra so we begin to talk. Then topic came about Kriya yoga and he suggested that three volumes – he told me that what I have been taught is not Kriya yoga at all. I said – how will I believe? Then he told: will You believe Lahiri Mahasaya? I said – of course, he’s the father of Kriya yoga. And then he suggested that three volumes of Gita’s commentaries which carries the comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well. It was too much, when I went through the books. And I had no money – so he gave me 110 rupees also to buy these books. So I owe him also- Shailendra owing Shailendra.
They were good people. And there are people, who were not so good. Their Guru came once – in 1994, we cater and hosting them for three days, they were more then three hundred people – it was good. All group of the disciples. They were impressed. Most of the people have an idea that yogi or sadhu must live somewhere in the shade of a tree or in a small hut, but when they entered this – it’s royal place.
Q: when You found Your real Guru – how You react, when You receive the technics?
Guruji: I wrote a letter and I actually lost the address – so I just write to Lahiri Mahasaya Bengali tora, Benares – my Guru found the letter, then he answered me, wrote me his exact address. It was 2-3 letters when he called me – so I reach Benares at 30th September in 1982, which was the birthday of Lahiri Mahasaya also. There was one professor in Gwalior who wrote me the letter to one of his cousins, who help me finding the address. It was nearly impossible to find the right place – but he helped me.
There I saw the group of the oldest men I’ve ever seen in my life. My Guru was youngest – he was 77 and oldest man might be 98. When I reached there – I feel very queer, because I was only 25 and they all were looking at me. It was the very strange feeling. Then he told me to come next day. It was as if I knew these technics before and he also catch it – or maybe he was already knowing it. That was the beginning of very interesting journey. End of one search – beginning of another.
Q: maybe it’s disinformation, but I’ve heard that You came to person, who teach You in the ashram and told all that You think of him?
Guruji: oh, before leaving the ashram. I openly challenged him – that what You’re teaching is wrong. There was very big crowd – they were celebrating annual festival. I was standing alone there – and he was silent. Many people was trying to calm me down, but frustration was too much. If somebody robs you on your money – it’s another thing; but if your faith is somehow hurt – then it hurts more.
I will complete the 35 years of practicing yoga in October. It’s a long time of practice – or may be nothing. Many people are saying – oh, You are great – but I love to call Newton here. When people say – You’re great scientist – he said: no, I’m standing on the shoulders of giants, that’s why I’m looking tall. I like this quotation and I would like to say it.
Q: how did You feel after meeting the real Guru?
Guruji: the confidence was so high after meeting him. And I knew finally, what I have to do. Because in other places you’re just too much into philosophy and just thinking nice things – no hard work is required; but when you receive real Kriya – you already know that it is pretty hard work. It was the very great feeling – happiness, confidence was very high, satisfaction was also there. And anxiety was also there – whether I will be able to do it or I can’t do it. When I saw khechari for the first time – I thought I can not do it, but it was done – it was so many mixed feelings there.
Q: in ashram they not teach khechari?
Guruji: they never even talk about it. Because we belong to the original lineage – so we discuss khechari as if it is nothing, but I tell you – nobody discuss. Here almost everybody can do it – I think it’s a great blessing.
LIFE IS CRUEL: WHY SHOULD THE AFTERLIFE BE OTHERWISE?
Do you think every human being is extremely friendly? So why should the other life be so friendly?
Life is cruel: why should the afterlife be otherwise? – you already know this great quote. It maybe even more worse than here.
Q: why so?
Guruji: when the evil men die – they also goes there. It’s all around ghosts and spirits and everything. You cannot be careful enough.
What I think: in bible all the angels are descendants of Garuda. That’s why they’re so much against, enemies of the snakes.
People have no choice. All depends on their karma.
Everybody has the spirit inside. From the smallest of virus to animals and human beings – they all have spirits.
Q: they are different?
Guruji: spirit is spirit. Sometimes animals are more wise than human beings. Usually they are.
Q: but You said, that the spirit is not evolve?
Guruji: maybe becoming an animal is evolution for human beings: read some greek or roman mythology – most of the warriors are turning into birds. Maybe it’s next step.
Q: let’s take Ravana’s example: now he is Ravannath – who is evolve? His spirit?
Guruji: spirit means the essence of life. Essence of life was there, but how he develop his life was up to him. he evolved – essence of life remained the same. It’s a bit complicated, but it’s a fact.
YOUR DESTINY IS NOT YOUR DESTINATION
Q: what is the approximate level of yoga practice, when you become to know the name of your spirit?
Guruji: when you have done enough yoga and your spirit is your friend – only then it is introduce you the name. it is impossible to pronounce humanly.
Q: how it can become a friend even without knowing the name?
Guruji: first introduction, let it take notice of you, then, when the friendship begin – it will tell you it’s name.
Q: sound will come – and you will know, it’s the name?
Guruji: before that telepathic communication will already begin. The sound of the name is not possible to pronounce. 5 to 10 minutes long like some complicated musical notes or something.
Q: it requires some quantity of samadhis?
Guruji: let the spirit decide. Samadhi is nearly there.
Q: what changes for you if You know the name of spirit?
Guruji: everything. I’m different person after that.
Q: You said we have no choice: and at the same time You said we must achieve something? So we have own wish and will?
Guruji: no, from the very elementary level you can think like that; but as you will evolve and grow high – then you will find that only effort you can do – but the destiny has already been written. My point is: remember, your destiny is not your destination. It’s just like road map. Road map is given to you and you cannot change it. How you go on that – is up to you. Whether you go, you run, you dance, you cry – that is your choice. But you will go by that road.
Q: is it possible that someone has no interest in yoga, but his destiny is Samadhi?
Guruji: not possible. No yoga – no Samadhi. Maybe his destiny is to become a mad man, thinking, he achieved Samadhi.
Q: but if destiny is destiny – you may have no wish for, but you will get the result?
Guruji: you will find yourself in that situation. You will have to do that work, which you don’t want to do.
THOSE, WHO WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO GO TO THE EXTREMES
Q: what do You think about Indians lived in both Americas before white comes?
Guruji: their skin color is the same; they were brahmins of our earth. They were highly spiritual beings. Australians also were brahmins and has the same skin color. Their tribes are very spiritual.
Q: this separation will gone when the process of globalization comes to an end?
Guruji: no idea – but I think the genetics will remain.
Q: who are mlechchhas?
Guruji: those, who are outside of india were called mlechchhas. In the process of globalization all the races will mix together – but it will take quite a long time. When they will come together – they will be in position to understand each other better. There is more communication now – it was never like this before. The whole system is going towards a very good system. Now even animal rights have been discussed. Vegetarianism is now a very fashionable thing.
Q: it’s common opinion that the vedic time was only vegetarian?
Guruji: no – because they were eating so much animals the vedic era is over.
Q: Krishna started the vegetarian movement?
Guruji: I think it was started when Shankar beaten all vedic gods – then climax came with Krishna himself. In Govardhan – that’s why Govardhan is the only place; ego of king of the gods – Indra – was removed. And the ego of creator was also removed: their both – Brahma and Indra. It’s absolutely new thing.
Q: why Shiv jI himself not invented vegetarianism after Daksha yagya?
Guruji: but all yogis was already vegetarians. He didn’t say anything – but everybody begin to follow.
Q: after that yoga became more popular?
Guruji: yogis was always rare. Nowadays is more popular – it was never for common men or normal person. Those, who were brave enough to go to the extremes – only they were practicing yoga. And I think it will remain so.
Q: yoga is extreme discipline?
Guruji: it is extreme discipline and the result is also extreme. Common people have not that ambitions.
LET IT BE LIGHT
Q: atma means spirit?
Guruji: atma means self.
Q: what is atmosphere then?
Guruji: it means atma looks like a sphere.
Q: why space is so dark?
Guruji: space is not dark. We think it is dark – but it is not dark. Because our eyes has limitations – so we cannot see it in its totality, we cannot hear – we’re living in so much sounds but we don’t hear them. Now we discovered the dark energy and dark matter; and the real power is in the dark. When god said – let it be light – it means, he was sitting in the dark. That’s why he lives inside the heart in absolute darkness, swimming in blood.
Q: is the night time stronger than day?
Guruji: it’s individual – but I like night time. Everything is quite and calm, no disturbance. Everybody is sleeping, in the daytime – too much activities, but nighttime is dreamland.
Q: owls are night birds: why so much people are afraid of them?
Guruji: we fear the unknown. But believing in ghosts will give you the hope that life continues after death. You should have more faith! If you’re ready to believe in heaven and hell – why not to believe in ghost? They also prove that there is life after death.
Fantastic: people believe in god – but they don’t believe in ghosts.